Reasons
by mulderscully
Summary: Harry is persumed dead for five years, but is he really dead? And why did he hid from his best friends?Mostly angst from all characters,and some H/H romance. Chapter 6 uploaded!!!!!!!!
1. The beginning

A/N: Hello, everyone, this is my second fic! Thanks for the ones who reviewed my first fic, Complicated, you guys were too kind! Hope you like this one too! And please don't send any flames...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, it all belongs to the one and only J.K Rowling.  
  
A man with brilliant green eyes and jet-black hair walked into the beautiful English town, his hands in his coat pocket, shielding them from the cool air.  
  
He walked for so long to this town, with only one thing on his mind.  
  
To see the person that he should never see again.  
  
He stopped, as he thought he heard a window opened above him, he quickly hid himself in a dark corner that could hid him from her view.  
  
A beautiful woman came to his sight; she has long, silky brown hair and the most angelic face.  
  
Isn't that...? The man thought.  
  
The woman stared up to the sky for a moment, she closed her eyes, then turned away, leaving the window unclosed.  
  
This is his big chance, the man took out the broom that he has been carrying with him, a moment of moon light shimmer on the bloom, Firebolt it read in gold letters. It is a pretty old broom, but it's faithful. That's enough for him.  
  
The man looked around, as if to check if anyone's there. He sat on the bloom, then the bloom magically flew up and led the man to the high window.  
  
He peered through the windows, and checked if that woman's there, it appears that she fell asleep, because he could hear the woman's quiet breathing.  
  
He carefully climbed through the big window, he landed safely as he retrieve the bloom that's floating high in the air outside.  
  
He looked around the room, he could see trophies and certificates everywhere, and she hasn't changed a bit. He thought.  
  
But he took a closer look at the awards, and found that it's all given to Hermione when she was at Hogwarts.  
  
Then he found her.  
  
She looks so young and innocent, sleeping in her bed. The man knew that the woman must be at least 23 now, the same age as him, but she didn't look a day over 18, perhaps people always look younger when they were asleep.  
  
He stroked her hair gently, careful not to wake her. The emotion that he felt is incredible, what would he give just to hear her voice, just to see her smile once more...  
  
He can't.  
  
I'm so sorry... Hermione... He thought.  
  
Hermione stirred, she's waking up, he quickly jumped on his broom and flew away quickly, he can't let her see him now. He didn't notice something flew out of his pocket and landed on the floor.  
  
Hermione Granger sat straight up at the noise, eyes wide opened.  
  
It couldn't be him... Hermione thought. Could it?  
  
She sighed. Yeah right, hello! Wake up, Hermione, this is reality...  
  
He's gone.  
  
She flipped on the lamp beside her, determined to get water splashed on her face to clear her mind, then she would get back to her work.  
  
She noticed something silvery glimmering on the ground, she frowned, and she went to pick it up.  
  
It's a heart shape locket, the silver shining ever so brightly in the light, she recognized the thing, but couldn't remember where she saw it before. Hermione turned the locket to the back, gasped as a familiar name came to sight.  
  
To love forever, Harry J. Potter  
  
***  
  
"Ron, Harry came back! He is alive! Hey Ron, are you listening?" Hermione Granger said to her best friend the next night. She spend her day, wondering whether to tell him that Harry came, and decided to after sunset caught her eyes.  
  
Sunset... She thought, then she walks to the phone.  
  
Ron Weasley stood in her living room now, deep into thoughts. He and Hermione... Well, actually Ron himself had believed the rumor that Harry died battling Lord Voldemort, a hero's sacrifice. But Hermione never did believe the story, not at first anyway. Ron still remembers that night, 2 years ago, it was raining so hard, and someone knocked on the door at his apartment, Ron found Hermione standing in the door, dripping wet.  
  
" Hermione?" He said, as he looked at the beautiful, wet angel at his door.  
  
" Harry's gone, Ron... he's not ever going to come back." She said simply.  
  
Then she left.  
  
Ron never found out what made her say that.  
  
Despair?  
  
Or she just wanted to forget?  
  
" Yeah, I am listening."  
  
" After all these years... 5 years now, tomorrow is exactly 5 years that he disappeared..." Hermione's voice trailed off.  
  
" But why would he come back now? If he never let people... never let us knew that he's alive... There's got to be a reason."  
  
" Perhaps the reason isn't there anymore... Maybe-"  
  
" Hermione, get real. He hid from you, if there's isn't a reason for him to be gone anymore, why did he ran then? He could just show up." Ron said, "My guess is that he is hiding against his own will."  
  
" You mean someone is forcing him to hide?"  
  
" Probably."  
  
" But... why? How? I mean, Lord Voldemort is gone, I know he is, we all knew. That's why we started calling Lord Voldemort by name, not by you-know-who..."  
  
" I'm afraid that's a question only Harry can answer."  
  
Hermione is silent. Ron looks at her, and noticed she's crying.  
  
" Please don't cry, Hermione." Ron whispered, enveloping Hermione into his arms.  
  
" Oh, Ron. People told me he's dead... I wanted so much to believe, to forget him. But... I can't..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Ron felt Hermione stiffen, and then she started crying again.  
  
Ron gently pushes her away, and looks at her straightly into the eyes.  
  
" Tell me." He said quietly.  
  
Hermione glanced away, a moment later, she walk slowly to the opened window.  
  
Ron's glance followed her.  
  
" Harry, he..." Hermione said, staring at the stars. " That night before we graduated from Hogwarts, he asked me to come to the hilltop that we three found during the sixth year at midnight. I went, and saw him. He was sitting there, on the top, staring silently at the stars..."  
  
Hermione took out her wand, and muttered words. A door appeared magically in front of her and Ron.  
  
" You want the truth, you've got it."  
  
Ron went in the door alone, he found himself in a beautiful hill with billions of stars in the sky, just as he stood there, stunned, he heard someone approached, he quickly took out his wand, and said an invisibility spell.  
  
He recognized the person is Hermione, the younger one. She doesn't look any different from now, beautiful, as always.  
  
He followed her, and saw Harry, sitting on the hill, looking at the stars, just like what Hermione said.  
  
Ron nearly jumped at the sight of him, he hasn't seen Harry for such a long  
  
time....  
  
It's like finding something that's long gone, or something that's forgotten.  
  
It's strange.  
  
"Hi, Harry." Hermione said, looking at Harry nervously.  
  
Harry turned; he smiled when he saw Hermione. " Hey there."  
  
" Nice sky today, huh?" Harry asked.  
  
" Yeah... It is beautiful." Hermione replied, sitting down next to him.  
  
" I remembered seeing the sky like this once, when I was little, I was in the attic at the Dursleys, it was so beautiful, exactly like today." Harry smiled sadly, " It was then that I started to remember what my mother look like, what she sounds like. I spend the whole night looking at the stars, believing that if I kept looking at the stars, my mum would come back. I was so little, desperate for love, for a mother. Aunt Petunia isn't exactly too motherly. To me anyways."  
  
" Harry..." Hermione look at him, Harry looks so lost, and it's like looking at something that doesn't even exist.  
  
" After then, I found out I was a wizard, but the thing that thrill me the most is to find out that my parents are magical, too. For once in my life I felt them, not just the imaginary mum and dad I thought up myself to comfort me, but the real one, and that they might still be there for me..."  
  
" They're still here for you, Harry." Hermione touched Harry's hand, Harry look up in surprise. " And so am I."  
  
Harry smiled, as their lips met in a kiss.  
  
Ron, who's standing beside them all the time, couldn't believe what he's seeing. Okay, maybe he knew that Harry likes Hermione ever since the fifth year, but Hermione likes Harry, too? She definitely hid her feelings well.  
  
Ron took a deep breath, trying to take all these in. They love each other, and they never told anyone. What is this?  
  
An act of denial?  
  
Or...  
  
The next thing Ron know, he's back to reality, with Hermione glazing at Ron with watery eyes.  
  
" Now you know why I couldn't let go of him." Hermione whispered.  
  
" Is that the night you said? That night Harry's looking at the stars on that hilltop?"  
  
Hermione nodded.  
  
Ron is speechless. " How come you never told me?" HE managed.  
  
" I couldn't. I couldn't even bear to remember myself. He was saying goodbye to me that night, but I never noticed... I never..." Hermione turns away again, trying to hide her tears.  
  
" Hermione..."  
  
A/N: Well, this is the end of Chapter 1, I'll upload Chapter 2 very soon! 


	2. The parting of ways

A/N: Here it is, the second chapter! Once again, thanks for all people who reviewed!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to J.K Rowling.  
  
The next day, Ron and Hermione went to the cemetery where they bury Harry, they never found the body, but to just out a few belongings of Harry inside the coffin, then buried it under Harry's name.  
  
Harry's coffin was buried in a muggle cemetery.  
  
Hermione insisted on that.  
  
They reached the tombstone, it read Harry J Potter, and the carving on the stone wrote only Harry's birth date. People never did put the death date in, as to praise him as the hero who still lives on in everyone's heart.  
  
They stood there, silently looking at it. Thousands of emotions rush over them, as they remembered the happy days in Hogwarts, and the dark days ever after the graduation.  
  
" Ron... Do you remember why you left the wizard world?" Hermione asked finally.  
  
" The reason...?"  
  
" Yeah."  
  
"After my dad got murdered by Voldemort...I was stunned, never would I know losing a family member is so hard... Then I found myself wanting to be something more than just a wizard... Then I came to the Muggle world, and found something better. I found ... Most of all I found freedom. No one tell me when to go, or when to stop... Why did you leave?" He asked Hermione, he didn't want to tell her that he came to the Muggle world to protect her from harm.  
  
He didn't want to burden her with a feeling she doesn't have for him.  
  
Hermione smiled, but it was a tearful smile. " I came here to... forget."  
  
" Forget Harry?" Ron asked.  
  
" Forget everything, I guess. Pretend it's just a dream, that I was never a witch. But I never did, probably never will."  
  
" Yeah, me too." Ron confessed. " Partly."  
  
" I... stop believing. I always thought I could be anything, if I have faith in myself. But look at me now," She took a big breath, " Nothing."  
  
" Oh Hermione, you are not nothing. You are just..." Ron paused, " Lost."  
  
" Come on, Ron, comparing to Hermione Granger in Hogwarts, who always gets top grades and high test scores, I am trash. I am just a part time model at the magazines."  
  
" Don't tell me that you don't enjoy the spot light!"  
  
" I did... at first. Then I started to remember my dream of becoming a witch that works at the Ministry of Magic. I started to feel empty... Where did the old Hermione go?"  
  
" You are still the same old you, Hermione, always." Ron grinned. " Beautiful, smart... "  
  
Hermione turned from Ron to Harry's tombstone. She always wondered, that how Harry thinks of her.  
  
Beautiful and smart? Just like what Ron said?  
  
Something better than that?  
  
Or something less?  
  
" Hermione... Hermione!" She heard Ron's voice calling her.  
  
" Yeah?"  
  
" You dozed off."  
  
" Did I? Sorry, I was thinking about something..." She looked up to the sky, " It's almost noon, and I have the shooting at one, we better be going now."  
  
" Okay then."  
  
With one last look at Harry's grave, they left.  
  
But Hermione and Ron has no idea that they are being watched...  
  
By Harry Potter himself.  
  
After Harry is sure that Hermione and Ron is away, he came out of the bush he's hiding.  
  
He stared at his own grave, thinking of what Hermione and Ron said about themselves.  
  
5 years certainly changed them a lot... Including me. Harry thought bitterly.  
  
He didn't realize someone is standing behind him.  
  
" Mr. Potter?" The person says with a note of warmth.  
  
The voice shocked Harry, for he recognized it. It belongs to someone... Someone who's suppose to believe that he's dead.  
  
" It can't be..." He whispers as he turns around.  
  
"Dumbledore?"  
  
Albus Dumbledore is standing there, his long silver bear shining in the sunlight.  
  
" Catching you off guard, again, didn't I, Mr. Potter?"  
  
"But... How... You..." Harry couldn't make out words.  
  
" I mean you no harm, Harry, this meeting would be completely secret to anyone. Now, Harry.... You must return to your friends."  
  
" What??" Harry exclaimed. " I can't... I can'..."  
  
But Dumbledore vanished.  
  
" Professor Dumbledore?" He called.  
  
But there's no answer.  
  
Go back to my friends? Go back to Ron and... Hermione?   
  
" No! She already lose me once, I don't want to let her feel the pain of losing me again!" He shouted to the sky, hoping someone would argue with him.  
  
But the sky is silent.  
  
As usual.  
  
He walked away from the cemetery, determined to forget what Dumbledore said.  
  
It's better this way, he thought. I knew it's better this way.  
  
But somehow, he isn't convinced.  
  
~~  
  
Harry Potter is standing beside Hermione Granger, they said something to each other, the other Hermione, or perhaps the Hermione that exists in the real world, couldn't hear what they are saying.  
  
Harry kissed the Hermione beside him deeply, as he walked, slowly into the darkness in front of him. Alone.  
  
" No, Harry!" Hermione Granger shouted, and woke up, as she sat up like she has just been electrified.  
  
It's only a dream, calm down. Her inner voice told her.  
  
I am fine, now shut up! She snapped to herself.  
  
" Lumos." She said quietly, as the lamp lit up dimly beside her. Hermione had learned to be so powerful, that she could perform simple spells without her wand. She touched the locket that Harry dropped that's now hanging on her chest, then held it tightly.  
  
What does the dream mean? Hermione thought fearfully.  
  
Am I going to lose Harry twice?  
  
Am I ??? She thought frantically.  
  
She closed her eyes, then open them as she set her eyes on the locket. She looked at it for the longest time, and a tear dropped to the small platform.  
  
The locket slowly started glowing in the darkness, but Hermione didn't notice. 


	3. Meeting a friend

A/N: Finally, an update! Sorry it took me so long… Enjoy!  
  
Disclamier: Again, these characters doesn't belong to me, it all belongs to… J.K Rowling.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Ron Weasley walked alone into the cemetery that he and Hermione visited just yesterday, he always comes here to think, for he found only this place could gave him peace.  
  
He stopped at Harry's grave, and put the flowers that he bought on the way here infront of the tombstone.  
  
Lilies.  
  
The name of Harry's mother, Lily Potter.  
  
He stared at his best friend's tombstone for a very long time, thinking about his very own past and future.  
  
Then he found himself desiring for wanting to talk to Harry Potter again, just once, is that too much to ask?  
  
" So, Harry," He said to Harry's grave. " How ya doing?"  
  
" Not so well." Said a voice behind him.  
  
Ron froze, as he widens his eyes in disbelief.  
  
It can't be… He thought, as he stood there, unmoved.  
  
" Hey, Weasley." Said that voice again, more playfully this time. " You gonna stand there all day?"  
  
Ron turned around slowly, there behind him, stood Harry Potter, the boy who lived.  
  
" Harry?" Ron whispered.  
  
Harry grinned, " Hey, is this the kind of welcome you gave your best friend after he returns from the dead?"  
  
Suddenly, Ron punched Harry straight in the jaws.  
  
" Where have you been?" Ron asked angrily, as Harry watches him, astonished, as he wipe the blood that appeared from his lips. " Don't you have any idea how Hermione missed you? How she cried every night after you left? You just left, without an explanation. Not considering how hurt she'll be, and how…" Ron's voice trailed off.  
  
" How miserable I would be to lose my best friend forever?" He finished, choking on a sob.  
  
Harry smiled, as he walked closer to his best friend.  
  
" I am sorry." He said when they are standing face to face.  
  
" Apology accepted." Ron said, starting to grin as he looked at Harry's brilliant green eyes. He couldn't stay angry with him, ever. Not at Harry Potter.  
  
They look at each other, grinning, each not knowing what to say. Harry spoke up first.  
  
" I still don't want anyone to see me, Ron, let's get in my house."  
  
" Your house?"  
  
" Hey, I live some where in these years, you don't expect me to be so clean if I live on the streets, do you?"  
  
" No, but-"  
  
"Don't ask questions," Harry look around. " Coast is clear, now, come on!"  
  
Ron nodded, then followed him into the forest behind the cemetery awkwardly.  
  
They walked for like hours, actually 30 minutes, according to Harry later, Ron saw this small brick house in front of him.  
  
" Pretty amazing, huh? I built it, took me ages. Well, with good help with Hedwig carrying materials to me, and the some magic, it didn't took that long as I expected to be. Come in." Harry led the way inside, closely followed by Ron.  
  
" Lumos." He said, and a fire started in the fireplace, light shone from the fire, and a nice looking house with all kinds of furniture that one needed look back at them, a snowy owl flapped it's wings on the stand beside the fireplace and flew to Harry's shoulder.  
  
" Hi, Hedwig, look at who I brought with me." Hedwig turned her head into Ron's direction, Ron rushed over to stroke Hedwig, and she softly nipped his fingers affectionately.  
  
" Long time no see, Hedwig!" Ron exclaimed. " The last time I saw you, you were, um, the same." Harry laughed.  
  
After Harry ran a quick tour of his house to Ron, and get all kind of compliments and complains (How come I don't have any thing like that comfy?) They sat down on the couch just opposite from the fireplace, and few silent moments past.  
  
" Ron… What you say about Hermione… Did I really hurt her that much?"  
  
Ron sighed. " Harry, that's why I couldn't get why you can just leave like this. I mean, if I were you, and I have a beautiful and intelligent girl loving you and we shared a kiss underneath the starry sky, I-" Ron stopped abruptly, and covered his mouth with his hands.  
  
Harry, by the way, has his mouth dropped open.  
  
" W,what?" He stammered. " How did you know-You saw us?"  
  
" Well…" Ron replied guiltily, trying to explain. " It wasn't me, um, not the me-you know, at that time… Well, it's the me at this time, I knew it sounds crazy-"  
  
" You mean Hermione send you? To that night?" Harry asked suddenly, the shocked expression still wearing on his face.  
  
" How do you know?"  
  
Harry shrugged. " Hunch."  
  
" I see." Ron look at Harry somehow doubtfully.  
  
Harry remained silent.  
  
" Anyway, planning on seeing Hermione some time?" Ron asked.  
  
" Not really…"  
  
" Why??" Ron asked, surprised. " I thought you love her like crazy."  
  
" I do… But…"  
  
" Come on, Harry, it's not going to be a heart attacking surprise, because she knew that you're alive, anyway."  
  
Harry frowned. " She does?"  
  
" You dropped this locket thing in her bed room 3 days ago."  
  
" I did?" Harry asked, his expression told Ron he's not at least surprised.  
  
" Yeah… Don't worry, she'll take good care of it, you should see how careful she was with the thing."  
  
Harry stared at Ron for a moment, and smiled weakly.  
  
" I sure hope so." He said quietly.  
  
Ron suddenly remembered something, cursed, then checked his watch. " Oh, man, I promise to meet Hermione at 3:00 at her house, it's almost 2:30." Ron looked up at Harry, " Why don't you come?"  
  
Harry flinched, and Ron thought that he saw sadness flashed in his eyes. " Harry?"  
  
" Yeah?"  
  
" If you want to meet her some other time, it's okay, I won't tell anyone that I met you. But you better tell her, fast, and I mean, real fast."  
  
Harry grinned, " Thanks, Ron."  
  
" I just don't get it, though," Ron said, standing up, " Why would you hesitate to meet her?"  
  
"You'll know."  
  
Ron sighed. " Suit yourself, then. Bye, Harry." Ron headed for the door, just as he's about to leave, Harry called him.  
  
" Ron, wait."  
  
" Yeah?"  
  
" How come you never fell for Hermione before?"  
  
Ron stopped, and turns around.  
  
" What?"  
  
" You heard me."  
  
Ron stopped, as to consider his words.  
  
" You kidding?" He said slowly, grinning. " I already sank for Hermione, I would do anything for her, in order to keep her safe. So, if you hurt her in anyway, you die, Potter."  
  
With that, he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.  
  
Harry smiled.  
  
Maybe… I really should stop running away from myself anymore.  
  
And, with a smile on his face, he walked out of his door. 


	4. A trip to the mall

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything!  
  
~~~~  
  
45 minutes later after he left Harry's, Ron Weasley ran to the door of Hermione Granger's apartment, where he knocked wildly.  
  
" Herm? Hermione?" He called.  
  
Hermione Granger opened the door, looking slightly stressed. " There you are, Ron, I was waiting."  
  
" Sorry I'm late, something unexpected caught me and I lost track of time." Ron explained in a rush, and slumped onto Hermione's sofa, catching his breath.  
  
" You don't have to be rush and kill yourself, you know." Hermione smiled. " It's not like it's anything important."  
  
" Ah, everything that has to do with Hermione Granger is important." Ron winked, Hermione just laughed.  
  
" So, what's the 'unexpected' thing?" Hermione asked, and sat beside him.  
  
"Um…" Ron wasn't exactly sure what to say, he promised Harry not to tell Hermione about him.  
  
" My mum phoned and- oh yeah, she told me to come home for, um, something…"  
  
" Your mum called?" Hermione is surprised. " That's weird, I talked to her just a hour ago, she didn't say anything about you going back to the Burrow."  
  
Ron cursed under his breath, " Let's drop this subject, okay?" He asked, trying to hide his nervousness.  
  
Hermione stare at Ron with a mixture of confusion and suspicion, " Okay, Ron, whatever you say…"  
  
" By the way," she added, " I'm going out for a bit of shopping, you want to come?"  
  
" Sure." Tall, lanky Ron Weasley has always been Hermione's body guard ever since they graduate from Hogwarts, it saved Hermione loads of trouble, even though she never say anything about it, but it's obvious that if she's with Ron with her she won't have to waste her breath telling the so many guys no when they ask her out whenever she appears in public.  
  
Ron's glance slowly drifted to Hermione's face, the beautiful face he knew so well, that he wanted to keep forever, but he knew he could never have her, she's like an angel he could reach but couldn't touch, god, he knew he likes Hermione, maybe even love her. But he knew that she could never love him the same way back.  
  
" Ron? Are you okay?" Hermione voice shook him back to reality.  
  
" Huh?"  
  
" You were staring."  
  
" I am? I was? I mean, of course not, why would I do that?" Ron stammered.  
  
" Well, maybe-"  
  
" Shut up, Herms."  
  
" Alright, alright, no need to be angry here," She puts up her hands, smiling with a note of teasing, " Are we going to the mall or not?"  
  
" As long as you're ready." Ron mumbled.  
  
" Great!" Hermione said enthusiastically, " Let's get going here, then!"  
  
She ran for the door, with Ron reluctantly following her, now regretting he ever agreed to go with her, he always find himself in this mood whenever he goes out with her.  
  
But something so special about Hermione, is that she couldn't make people say no to her.  
  
*  
  
Just as I thought, Ron Weasley sighed. A bunch of flies,  
  
Less than five minutes later after he and Hermione Granger walked into the main street, men are starting to eye Hermione with a certain look of admiration and jealousy towards Ron. But Hermione didn't seem to notice.  
  
" Ron, what are you looking at?" She asked, smiling.  
  
"Just junk." He said, giving a guy a look, which obviously means to back off. " Nothing you'll want to know, any way."  
  
" Oh."  
  
" We should take the car instead."  
  
" Come on, Ron, its only 10 minutes of walking."  
  
Ah, which means that its ten solid minutes of work for me, Ron wanted to say, but only smiled tightly in respond.  
  
Just as they are about to enter the small door of the shopping mall, Ron stopped abruptly.  
  
Hey Ron. He had heard someone said.  
  
" Huh?" Ron exclaimed.  
  
" What?" Hermione looked at him in confusion.  
  
" Didn't you hear…?" Ron looked around him, something in the voice is familiar.  
  
" Hear what? The traffic?"  
  
Ron, don't get excited here, it's me Harry.  
  
" Harry?" Ron muttered incredibly, Hermione look at Ron, and widen her eyes.  
  
Shh! I'm right beside you guys, invisible, although I'm talking to you in your head, you know what to do! Don't let Hermione suspect anything! Harry said,( or thought) frantically.  
  
" Hermione?" Ron said nervously, glancing at her side. " You all right?"  
  
"Hmmm?" Hermione look at him, flashing an innocent smile. " Of course I am."  
  
Ron clicked his tongue, analyzing the situation, everything's going to be fine…  
  
" Hey, get moving here, will ya?" A voice shouted rather angrily after them, Ron and Hermione turned, and saw a line of people staring at them, each wearing an expression either anger or impatience.  
  
"Oops." Ron muttered, and dragged Hermione in the mall.  
  
Hey, Harry, you still there? He thought, minutes later, while Hermione's browsing through the bookstore.  
  
Yeah. Right beside you. Harry's voice came in respond, and he felt someone lightly tap his shoulder beside him.  
  
What do you want me to do? Ron asked.  
  
Nothing… Just hang out with Herms like usual; I just want to see her… Man, she's beautiful. Harry said, looking at Hermione admiringly. ( If anyone could see him.)  
  
Yeah, yeah, we know, Ron rolled his eyes. So we just have to shop like usual.  
  
Um… And keep Hermione out of… You know… Boys. Men. Harry's voice trailed off.  
  
Ron grinned, So you are worried!  
  
Of course I am! Harry exclaimed, blushing. I've been nothing but worried for the past five years… Wait, here comes Hermione. Remember: keep it casual.  
  
Yes mother. Ron said sarcastically.  
  
" Hi Hermione!" Ron said, he's finding it hard to be natural now. " Got any books?"  
  
" Tons." She lifted up two bags.  
  
Ron nodded, as he and Hermione's about to go, he felt someone poking him.  
  
" Hermione? Stop poking me."  
  
" What? I'm not poking you." Hermione said in confusion.  
  
It's me that's poking you! Ron heard Harry's voice again.  
  
What do you want? Ron asked irritably.  
  
Didn't you Hermione's taking two heavy bags?  
  
So…? Ron said to Harry(Thought), suddenly he realized something. Wait, you don't mean…  
  
Oh, yes, Ron.  
  
I'm not doing it! I'm not carrying her bags! She has tons of books!  
  
Please? Okay, Ron can sense Harry's big puppy dog eyes begging him now, It's the least I can do now for Hermione.  
  
It's the last thing Ron wanted to do, but what choice does he have?  
  
" Herms? Here, let me take these for ya." Ron flashed a big smile, and grabbed Hermione's bags.  
  
Hermione look at Ron incredibly.  
  
" Thanks…" She said slowly. " You don't have to…"  
  
" It's okay!" He said through gritted teeth.  
  
1 How many books did she buy? A trillion? Ron thought to himself.  
  
2 Thanks. He heard Harry's voice.  
  
You own me this, Potter. Ron thought.  
  
Hours later, Hermione and Ron appeared from the exit. Ron has six bags on his right hand, and five on his left. He's sweating constantly, which is unusual for such a cool day.  
  
I'll leave you here, okay, um, I'll see you later at your place .Sometime around midnight. Harry said, he's somewhere beside Ron.  
  
You know where my place is? Ron asked, as he kept on walking.  
  
3 Sure I know… Bye!  
  
Then he didn't hear Harry's voice afterwards.  
  
They arrived at Hermione's house several minutes later, after they put the stuff away, Ron slumped on to the twin sofa, exhausted than ever.  
  
Hermione appeared from the kitchen with a can of coke. " Here, this will make you feel better." She handed the coke to Ron, which Ron accepted gratefully.  
  
" You know, this will be so much easier if we just use magic." Ron complained.  
  
" I know, but remember the ministry's rule? No magic in front of muggles."  
  
She sat beside him, thinking.  
  
" Hey, Ron?" She said softly, touching the small silver locket hanging from her neck.  
  
" Yeah?"  
  
" Thanks for watching out for me."  
  
Ron smiled to himself, so Hermione knew.  
  
" You're welcome." 


	5. Confession

A/N: I apologize for not updating for so long, hope you guys would still enjoy it!   
Disclaimer: Don't own anything¡K¡K.**sigh**  
  
It's one o'clock in the morning, and Ron Weasley is still waiting.   
  
Where is he???? He thought anxiously.   
  
He had left Hermione's 2 hours ago, just so that he can meet Harry again. Usually he   
didn¡¦t even bother going home and just slept in the guest room in Hermione¡¦s apartment until the next day.   
Ron glanced again at the clock, and then yawned. Outside, he could hear a dog   
barking loudly.  
Feeling sleepy¡Khe yawned again. Destination: Bed.   
He starting walking to his bedroom, just then he heard a thump behind him.   
¡§ Jesus Christ!¡¨ Harry groaned, ¡§ That dog downstaris!¡¨  
Ron turned around, sure enough, Harry Potter had appeared from his balcony.   
¡§ You're late.¡¨ He said simply, as Harry walked in.  
¡§ Yeah, thanks to that friendly dog of your neighbor.¡¨  
¡§ I thought you would Apparate.¡¨  
¡§ Don't want to. Thought I should warm my Firebolt up a little.¡¨   
Rom rubs his eyes. ¡§ Okay, what do you want?¡¨ He and Harry sat down on the couch.   
¡§What am I going to say to Hermione if I meet her again??¡¨  
¡§ God, Harry, you are worse than me. Just tell her that you came back and you love her.¡¨ Ron said, holding back a yawn.  
¡§ What if it would make her suffer worse¡K?¡¨  
Ron looked up, surprised. The note of sadness in Harry¡¦s voice is undeniable. He suddenly feels fully awake.  
¡§ Harry¡K Is there something you're not telling me?¡¨  
¡§ No.¡¨ Harry looked away.   
¡§ Harry, I was your best friend for eight years, and I still am. Me and Herms understand you more than anyone.¡¨  
¡§ ¡K.¡¨  
¡§ Look, Harry, the truth¡¦s gotta come out sometime? You know it.¡¨ Ron looked at Harry, determined.   
¡§ I can't tell anyone about this¡K I promise myself I won¡¦t.¡¨ Harry finally whispers.   
¡§ About what?¡¨  
¡§ Voldemort¡K¡¨  
¡§ Voldemort?¡¨ Ron nearly jumped a mile. ¡§ What has anything to do with him? He died didn¡¦t he?¡¨   
Harry didn¡¦t answer, but looked more sad and guilty.   
¡§ Harry? Tell me Voldemort is dead.¡¨ Ron said slowly.   
Just say yes, Harry¡K Tell me!  
¡§ He's not.¡¨  
¡§ What?!¡¨  
¡§ He's not dead¡K Voldemort¡K¡¨ He met Ron¡¦s eyes, the look in his emerald eyes tells Ron that Harry's telling the truth.  
Ron sank back to the couch¡K The dark lord, alive? For so many years?  
¡§ Where is he, then?¡¨ He asked, glancing at Harry.  
Harry's expression is unreadable.   
¡§ Harry¡K?¡¨  
Harry shut his eyes, then opened them, as if somehow gathering courage.   
¡§ He lives in me, Ron. I am the reborn of Tom Riddle.¡¨  
  
¡§ He lives in me, Ron, I am the reborn of Tom Riddle.¡¨  
  
Ron's eyes widen.  
Harry Potter? The boy who lived? Tom Riddle's reborn?  
This is a joke that has gone too far.   
¡§ Harry, you are not serious, right?¡¨  
Harry smiled sadly.   
¡§ Oh god.¡¨ Ron sank lower into the couch. ¡§ What happened?¡¨  
¡§ Voldemort lost. In the duel. I lose conscious after I saw him collapsed, because I was also hurt badly,¡¨ Harry closed his eyes again.   
¡§ I then woke up later, in a farm house, the muggle farmer found me and took care of me while I was unconscious, he said while I was sleeping he noticed a lot of strange things happening to me, like the scar in my head flashing, almost disappearing, and a strange pattern appearing slowly on my left arm.¡¨ Harry stopped, looking at Ron almost fearfully.   
¡§ That sign¡K Is that¡K¡¨  
Harry tore his sleeves open, Ron recognized it too well, he remembered¡K  
The serpent toughed skull, shining ever so brightly in the sky in the summer before his fourth year, at the Quidditch World Match, only¡K  
Only now it appeared in Harry¡¦s arm, the eyes of the serpent shining brightly, up on the serpent¡¦s foul head is a huge, yellow crown.   
¡§ You see, Voldemort is in me, slowly poisoning me, eating me¡K. He will rise again, sooner or later¡K¡¨  
¡§ Wait a minute,¡¨ Ron interrupted, ¡§ Eating what?¡¨  
¡§ Eating me. My magic, my powers¡K Everything¡K¡¨ Harry¡¦s hand touches his scar on his head.   
¡§ Why didn't you tell us?¡¨ Ron asked.   
¡§ Don't you get it, Ron? Harry Potter's dying¡KI'm dying.¡¨ Harry look down, ¡§ I couldn't tell you guys, especially her¡K¡¨  
¡§ I don't want to see her tears again¡K¡¨ Harry whispered.  
The tension between the two best friends is unbearable, Ron knew exactly how Harry feels, but¡K   
God, this is Harry Potter, not just anyone, but Harry Potter, he's not supposed to be Voldemort¡K He's not supposed to be the murderer of his own dad¡K  
¡§ Do you hate me, Ron?¡¨ Harry asked, smiling bitterly.   
¡§ Should I?¡¨ Ron asked, his tone somehow near the verge of breakdown. ¡§ Should I hate you¡Kfor what you never did?¡¨  
¡§ I don't blame you for hating me, in fact, I wouldn't mind if you kill me right now.¡¨ He threw his wand to Ron, and Ron caught it reluctantly. ¡§ That's probably what you should do.¡¨  
Ron stared at the wand, and at Harry. Should he? Should he be the one to end Harry¡¦s miserable life, is that right thing to do?  
Tears flashed in his eyes, I couldn't do it¡K   
¡§ Ron?¡¨   
¡§ Is that what you really wanted?¡¨   
Harry nodded.  
Ron looked at him helplessly; from his eyes Harry saw pain, and a note of despair, as if begging him, pleading with him.  
Please don't do this to me, Harry. 


	6. Selfish desire

A/N: There it is, Chapter 6! Chapter 7 will be up very soon... Enjoy and please remember to review :)  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, only in my wildest dream...  
  
  
  
" Do it." Harry whispered. " Please..."  
Whatever Ron's enduring right now, it's nothing compared to how Harry felt.   
  
It's so damn confusing, he knew if he die right now, the world could at last went into peace, his conscious told him that he should right now accept his fate¡K But the other side, the selfish side of him is screaming to him, telling him that he very well know how he really feel.  
He didn't want to die.  
" Hermione..." he whispered. He missed her so much, her smile, her laugh, her everything.  
Harry closed his eyes, You know what you want, Harry Potter, a voice said to him,   
No matter how you hate to admit it, you're just a selfish little boy.  
  
Ron's watching him, he knew how Harry felt, and he knew that deep down, Harry is afraid to die.  
Why does he have to grow up so fast?  
  
" Accio Wand!" Harry suddenly called, and his wand flew from Ron's hands to his own.  
" What did you do that for?" Ron asked.  
Harry looked down, gripping his wand tighter.  
" Harry?"  
" Tell Hermione that I love her." Harry said softly, and he disapparated.  
" Wait!" Ron yelled, but he was already gone.  
He sighed, and fell back to the couch.  
He knew that it's his job to break the news to Hermione, to let her knew that Harry... Well...  
It's going to be so damn hard.  
If he tells Hermione that Harry's alive for real, and Hermione will sure go after him no matter what, and that means she'll continuing suffering from the pain of watching Harry disappear in front of her again.   
He can't bear to see her broken hearted like that again.  
Tell Hermione that I love her... Harry's voice rang in his head again.   
He stared outside the window and saw the huge moon hanging on the sky, and he slowly remembered a face that he had long forgotten, the face of a girl that he once loved, but lost forever...  
" What would you do if it was you?" He whispered.  
  
*  
Harry Potter apparated at the foot of the forest that his house is in, he leaned on the tree with his hand, panting like he has just finished a marathon.   
You are a loser, Harry Potter, you're a sorry loser... He thought bitterly to himself.   
He looked emptily at the direction of the cemetery, he felt so... weak.  
Just as he turned the direction where his house was, he heard a swooshing sound just like someone had apparated, he turned back.  
" Oh my dear god..."   
*  
At the worst time, Hermione Granger had decided to visit his grave.  
Hermione stood there, petrified, as she saw the familiar figure standing just a few yards from her.   
Harry closes his eyes as he thinks for something fast.  
He came to two conclusions, run like bloody hell or stay.   
Either way will be hard.  
" Harry..." Hermione whispered.  
Suddenly, Harry felt pain striking through his body, his heart feels like it's going to burst, and the burning feeling¡K  
Not now¡K. He thought painfully. Not now, please¡K.  
" Harry!"   
" Hermione, no..." He managed to say.  
Hermione stopped in her tracks, " Why...?"  
Harry shakes his head.   
She stared at the face she knew so well, the eyes she countless times lost herself into...  
" At least please tell me if you're okay." She said quietly, tears falling from her eyes.  
Harry winces at the sight of her tears, and cursed himself silently.   
" I'm fine." He said, managing to smile. The pain was subsiding. " Please don't cry, Hermie..."  
Hermione widen her eyes at the name Hermie, as if remembering something that she forgotten, and smiled. She remembered, it's the secret name he has for her, the name that only he knows and use.  
She wouldn't allow anyone except Harry to use the name.  
" That's my girl." He sighed as he saw Hermione's smile.   
Just this once, Harry Potter, listen to your heart.  
He look at Hermione's beautiful face, knowing that he couldn't resist his own feelings.  
He walked slowly towards her, and she just stood there, fixing her eyes on his, he gave in to his most selfish desire....  
He kissed her. 


End file.
